Final Destination 4 (AKA “Someone Stop Me from Continuing This Franchise”)
- there are these kids at this racetrack and i already don’t care because i don’t care about kids at racetracks…?
- i don’t think tampons would stay in your ears as earplugs. also, who carries that many around in their purse?
- ok, those screws just loosened themselves. that’s cheating. death can’t do that before someone cheated it. it’s rude!
- this is new levels of bad for this franchise
- “that’s a lot of tampons for one woman” this is true, annoying dude. i thought the same thing last time around.
- seriously? killing someone that managed to get outside with a stray tire? you’ve already killed half the women that could potentially survive!
- you can really tell they did this for a 3D release….
- ok… opening credits made up of deaths from the first three… ok…
- i’m here for the rube goldberg deaths, not the gore, guys
- mckinley speedway? wasn’t the hs/town in the last one mckinley?
- this girl looks like a mix of leven rambin and bryce dallas howard. not that anyone cares…
- oh, yay, a homicidal racist. this franchise clearly needed more homicidal assholes. ian wasn’t enough. c l e a r l y
- i like how the movies all have different warnings (by which i mean i actually don’t, because the first one had a bunch of different things (paper clippings, reflections in windows, visions and general ~bad feelings~) and then the second one was the same (more visions, maybe, but vague and not about the deaths themselve) and then three was just PHOTOS!! and that damned song. and four… is bad cgi… relatively straight forward bad cgi visions)
- salons = death in this series
- “i’ve got my eye on you too” hmm, i don’t know if that was on the nose enough…
- can i rebestow dickwad’s name? because he was obnoxious, but this dude is awful.
- clear rivers water company. this film is referential for the sake of being referential. why
- dickwad von douchenozzle iii
- weirdly i think i saw the pool scene earlier this summer without knowing what it was
- i like how everyone conveniently doesn’t know about aj cook and michael landes’ characters
- they’re going to a 3D movie? there’s something inherently obnoxious about that (are they trying to be meta? they’ve beyond failed)
- they’re really trying to make this seem pseudo-progressive with how many racist asshats there are in it, huh?
- these are called omens, lori. get your ass out of there
- LORI, FFS. SOMETHING CLEARLY WANTS YOU TO LIVE IF IT’S GOING TO THIS MUCH TROUBLE TO TELL YOU TO GET OUT
- if there are a million movies going why don’t you, idk, set off the fire alarm or something??
- i really wish people making this movie knew how nail guns worked (i figured ian rigged his in 3, but this… wouldn’t happen…)… death must really hate this kid, though
- “you saved a lot of lives, man” *ugly laugh* wonder how they’ll die in the future
- ahh, pointless-sequel-itis, how i love thee
- this was so bad
- really bad
- i can’t
what i want to know is what mysterious force is telling these guys what’s up…
